Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Do you want a sticker?

We've always had success in the past with the naughty chair, naughty corner, and now the naughty step when it comes to discipline. I should clarify that we don't have three separate naughty spots in the house--just a different naughty spot in each house we've been in. But I've noticed that lately Kyle and Natalie take advantage of us when we're out somewhere and absent a naughty spot. It's as if they know I'm limited to threatening them under my breath or pleading with them when we're out in public and they choose not to listen. I don't buy them toys on demand, I don't cave to temper tantrums, and I give good behavior pep talks before we go somewhere, but lately my son seems to think he doesn't have to listen to me. He's even told me he doesn't have to listen to me--though he later sees the error of his ways when he ends up alone in his bedroom.

I'm thinking it's time for reward charts. To a certain extent I believe the kids need to learn to listen to me regardless of whether or not they see something in it for them, and good behavior is expected rather than rewarded. This kind of discipline works for Natalie. She's the kind of child I was, and I understand her. Time-outs are effective because they're an insult to her pride, and honestly, she's fairly docile anyway. She has an attitude, but she doesn't act up when we're out somewhere.

Kyle, on the other hand, has a personality that I adore but can't really relate to. He's sociable, easily influenced by others, and always silly if he thinks he has an audience. He's grasped the idea that there's not a naughty step when we're at a restaurant. I think to make good behavior a habit for Kyle there's first going to have to be an incentive for him to behave--hence, the reward chart.

It's somewhat common knowledge that Kyle will do almost anything for money. Around the time of his first birthday when presented with an apple, a book, and a dollar bill (some kind of Russian tradition that tells you what you child will aspire to as an adult--something like health, knowledge, or wealth) he raced his little legs over to that dollar bill faster than you could blink. He was potty-trained with promises of pennies and dollar bills. He'll raid his Pop-pop's pockets for change at every opportunity. And one time we were touring a friend's new house, Kyle spotted a pile of change on the nightstand in the bedroom, and he ran to it and started shoving every last coin in his pockets (that one was pretty embarassing). But don't worry--I'm not planning to reward him with money--even though I seriously considered it. I haven't decided on a big reward yet, but I think a good smaller reward might be extra stories at bedtime or an afternoon trip to the playground--you know, once the weather warms up... in July or so.

Anyway, 'listening' is going to be the goal of our reward chart with a few little things like 'tidying the playroom' thrown in for good measure. I figure we have to put something doable on the chart, right? I also have a feeling that the reward chart will be cake for Nat while Kyle struggles a little at first. I'll keep you posted on our progress since I'm sure you'll all be waiting with bated breath to hear how it's going and since I have nothing better to do during naptime than blog.

1 comment:

Staci said...

This is such a good idea. Ashley is easily persuaded by money too. Another reward could be mom and me time. Since I know with 3 kids one on one time is rare.