Fire Drill

There's a very fine line between teaching your kids what they need to know to be safe and scaring the bejeezus out of them, and I'm often guilty of crossing that line. Not just crossing the line in an oops-I-weaved-onto-the-wrong-side-of-the-road-because-I-was-changing-the-radio-station kind of way but more in a that's-right-I-jumped-the-median-and-I'm-speeding-down-the-highway-into-oncoming-traffic kind of way.

A few mornings ago I went downstairs into our playroom and thought I'd stepped right into my own little hell. There were toys thrown everywhere, and it was about 85 degrees. Brandon had turned the thermostat up as high as it would go, and the electric baseboard heat had been on all night in an attempt to turn our playroom into the tropics. This spurred a conversation that began as a discussion about not touching the thermostats but quickly morphed into a lecture on burning the entire house down. It went a little like this:

Me: "Brandon, we don't ever touch the thermostats."
Brandon: "Okay, Mom." (This was said as he grinned at me but attempted to hide his face behind his hand.)
Me: "I'm serious, Brandon. It's very dangerous for you to touch the thermostat and turn it all the way up."
Brandon: "Okay. I no touch the circle." (Still smiling.)
Me: "Brandon, it's not funny. When you turn the circle on the thermostat it turns the heat ALL the way up, and the heaters get VERY hot, and if the heaters stay VERY hot and you guys have happened to leave any of your toys too close to the heaters they could catch on FIRE and burn the entire house down. Do you want to start a fire? Do you want to burn the entire house down?"

Brandon's eyes got big. Kyle's eyes got big. Natalie's eyes got big. The room went silent. I just did it again, I thought. Way to scare the kids, Betsy. I said, "I guess now is a good time to talk about what we're going to do if the house ever catches on fire."

"The most important thing for you guys to remember is that we have to get out of the house quickly, and we need to meet somewhere safe. You don't take your toys, you just get out of the house, and we'll all meet across the street in the neighbors' front yard."

Kyle said, "Okay. I'll get my money first, though."

"No, Kyle. You don't stop for your money. You don't need it. Just get out of the house. Mommy and Daddy can buy you all the toys and clothes you need, but we can't replace you."

Kyle's eyes started filling up, and the tears started rolling down his face. I started to panic that we were about to be forced to have the but-I-don't-want-to-die-when-I'm-a-grown-up conversation again (that's a story for another day) when he said, "But what about all the MONEY?! The money will be in the fire. What will we do without money?"

I said, "Kyle, we don't keep the money here in the house. It's all safe and sound in the bank. Don't you worry about the money if there's a fire."

The tears quickly disappeared, and an excited look crossed Kyle's face. "Oh. Okay. That's good. But I think maybe we should start having fire drills."

I was relieved enough to see the tears stop that I think I agreed to these fire drills. I mean, fire drills are probably a good thing--as long as they don't result in nightmares. We really should have practiced what to do in case of a fire before now. But now I'm thinking about incorporating a lesson or two in the banking system and homeowner's insurance while I'm at it. It couldn't hurt now that I know where Kyle's priorities are.